


Survival

by Miri1984



Series: A Wilde Week 2020 [4]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Death and Grieving, Discussion of Death, M/M, spoilers for 176
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miri1984/pseuds/Miri1984
Summary: A Wilde Week Day 4: Life | Death | SurvivalSpoilers for episode 176
Relationships: Zolf Smith & Amelia Earhart, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Series: A Wilde Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015986
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43
Collections: A Wilde Week 2020





	Survival

Before Prague, the space that Oscar Wilde occupied in Zolf’s mind was small, or at least, that’s what he told himself. He’d barely talked to the man in Hamid’s apartment before he’d headbutted him, and his article on Bertie had been amusing but in the end, worth less of his energy than actually managing the team he’d pulled together. And then the catacombs had happened and Wilde had revealed himself as some sort of … spy mastermind or whatever the fuck he was and then it hadn’t mattered. Because Zolf had decided that the problem with his job wasn’t Bertie, or Wilde’s arrogance, or Hamid’s inexperience. 

No, as per usual, the problem with his job, was  _ him. _

And so he put Wilde out of his mind, the same way he put Sasha and Hamid and Bertie out of his mind, and he spent a good few weeks wallowing in despair and having a crisis of faith because why the fuck not.

After Prague, well. Things change.

He doesn’t know, now, what Wilde is to him. What Wilde  _ was  _ to him.

If he was Hamid, maybe he’d be crying. Or vomiting. Although the halfling didn’t seem to do that as much as he used to. As it is he’s forced to listen to Earhart try to be noble and he thinks a long suffering sigh is actually pretty restrained of him, given the circumstances.

“What was that?” she asks and Zolf wants to scream and shout at the sky like he screamed and shouted at Poseidon but he needs to keep it together. For a little while longer.

How can he explain? He trips over the words. His oldest friend has just died.

His oldest friend.  _ Gods  _ but that is a depressing thought. He was fifty years old, give or take a few and his oldest friend is a man he met two years ago and headbutted and tried to drown and  _ cared for and badgered to go to sleep and eat food and stop working so hard, Wilde, the end of the world isn’t going to go away just because you stayed awake for thirty six hours, Wilde, eat something, if I wasn’t here you’d work yourself to death you big idiot…  _   
His partner.

The person he cares most about in the world. Is that what it is? Is that how he feels about Wilde? 

He’s cared about a lot of people in his time, and he’s lost every single one of them. His brother. His parents. His crew.

Hamid and Sasha, once. Then Sasha again.

Wilde is… Wilde  _ was _ the only person he had left.

Is that what he is to him? The final straw?

The ship is… transported to the city and Zolf can’t find any surprise in his heart for the people, the situation, the… everything. Perhaps when whatever they’re going to do is done, he’ll have time to process things. Right now he simply has to put everything on hold, or he’ll crack himself to pieces.

“You’ll need to choose a guide.”

“I’ve got Wilde,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he has time to even think. Of course he has Wilde. He knows him the best out of all of them. Wilde listens to him. Wilde  _ knows him, will recognise him, will come back if Zolf asks. _

_ He has to. _

There is so much too-ing and fro-ing from the others, about who should fetch who. It makes sense for Skraak to get Meerk, of course it does, it makes sense for Cel to get Sassraa as well - he knows those two have hit it off.

He’s a bit surprised about Azu, and feels a twinge of guilt for that. He would have thought Barnes would go, would have thought Barnes would  _ want  _ to go, but the man isn’t keen on magic at the best of times so perhaps it’s that. 

And Azu will do her best. Like she always does. 

It makes sense for Zolf to get Wilde. It does. It makes sense because they’ve known each other the longest. It makes sense because he is Zolf’s friend. Zolf’s partner. 

It makes sense because Zolf needs him to come back.

It makes sense because Zolf loves him.

That feeling, that acknowledgement, settles in his gut as the smell surrounds him, as he begins to feel the effects of it. 

_ It makes sense that Zolf loves him. Of course it does.  _

As he drifts, he lines up all of the arguments he can make, the professional and the personal.  _ You’re my partner. You’re my friend. I need you to come home. _

_ To me. _


End file.
